Tradcons will scream over and over again how “marriage is essential for civilization” and attack men who choose not to get married. Even some feminists will say a variant of that. They’re all wrong because marriage is not what is essential for civilization. Fatherhood is what is essential for civilization.
Single father households outperform single mother households in raising children. Warren Farrell documents this in his book, Father and Child Reunion. Children raised by single dads do better in academic progress, social competence, psychological health and physical health in comparison to children raised by single moms. And saying that barely scratches the surface. Consider facts such as how 70 percent of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long-term sentences were raised by single mothers. Seventy-two percent of juvenile murderers and 60 percent of rapists come from single-mother homes. Seventy percent of teenage births, dropouts, suicides, runaways, juvenile delinquents, and child murderers involve children raised by single mothers. Girls raised without fathers are more sexually promiscuous and more likely to end up divorced. In fact, single motherhood is the explanation for racial disparities in crime. A study in 1990 by the Progressive Policy Institute showed that when controlling for single motherhood, the differences between white and black crime rates completely disappeared. (As a side note this proves that white knight nationalists are nothing but white knights and manginas since they are blaming minorities for the problems caused by women.)
But what about intact families allegedly being better for children? First, that assumes that said family remains intact. As soon as it doesn’t it gets counted against either the single father or single mother statistics depending on who gets custody, usually the single mother. Since most divorces happen because a woman wants the divorce, then it’s not really the fact that the family is intact that causes the children to do better, but the presence of a father. Second, a lot people assume that mothers are necessary for reasons having to do household chores and not raising children. Between the existence of schools and technology to do household chores (washing machines, dishwashers, etc.), mothers in intact families aren’t doing much of anything. In the tradcon family, chores get assigned to the children, and fathers are the ones earning the money leaving mothers with nothing but free time to spend their husbands money. In other words, outside of things like breastfeeding and other tasks related to newborns, it’s men/fathers that are not only working to earn money, but also doing the real parenting work. Even after a divorce, single mothers don’t/can’t step up and do the parenting work that fathers do. It shows in the statistics.
It’s not like women are breastfeeding either. Only 16.4% of women exclusively breastfeed their children. If young children are going to be formula fed, then a woman is not needed for that. A man can do that just as easily. Women aren’t even doing child rearing tasks that it would make the most sense for them to do.
When you consider all this, it becomes clear that fatherhood is essential for civilization, but motherhood not so much. In fact, not only is motherhood not needed that much, in many cases it can be harmful, as we see from the single motherhood epidemic. Tradcons and other defenders of marriage fail to understand this. They defend “marriage”, but their defense of marriage at best includes fatherhood as an afterthought. They believe that fatherhood is an artifact of being married to a woman, but that is incredibly wrong. They attack men who refuse to get married and refuse to have children saying that they are refusing to become fathers but that is wrong. Men who refuse to get married and have children are taking fatherhood seriously by not bringing children into the world that will simply get taken away from them. Men who are being attacked for not getting married and having children are being attacked because they made the decision a responsible father would.
This is also why “defending marriage” means nothing more than defending marriage 2.0 and sending men to anti-family courts to be slaughtered sooner or later. What is the difference between marriage 1.0 and marriage 2.0? Fatherhood in marriage 2.0 exists purely at the whim of the mother whereas marriage 1.0 did more to defending fatherhood. However, marriage 1.0 had it’s failures in defending fatherhood. For example, it used to be during a divorce that except for certain cases (i.e. abuse of the children) men always got custody of the children. Then the tender years doctrine came along due to the work of feminists and women started getting custody of children in divorce cases. This happened in the late 19th century when marriage 1.0 was still around. This is also why simply getting rid of no fault divorce is not enough to protect fatherhood. The problem started much earlier. (Also, New York state did not have no fault divorce until 2010, and men/fathers in New York had the same problems as men/fathers did in other states.) The only was to stop the divorce epidemic is to restore default paternal custody in divorce cases.
Since fatherhood and not marriage is essential for civilization, why does marriage even exist in the first place? Because until recently, there weren’t options for men to produce children. Marriage was a compromise where men presumably knew that the children of their wives was theirs. Men get the benefit of knowing that the children were theirs, and children got the benefit of paternal investment in them. While women got taken care of in this arrangement, their real contribution was not motherhood (beyond things like breastfeeding) but doing household chores. As technology developed women started getting squeezed out of this role so they started wrecking the system similar to how Luddites would try and wreck machines during the industrial revolution.
Because of this, going back to marriage 1.0 with default paternal custody is not the path we should choose. In the best case scenario, we will end up will a new variant of the tender years doctrine in a century or two, and the whole thing will start again. Fortunately, because of technology, there are other options, and marriage can be treated like the obsolete thing it is. Paternity testing can be used to guarantee that a man is the father of a child. There are surrogate mother options for men who want children like the Rotunda clinic in India. In the future, artificial wombs will be an option. In the future, fatherhood will have to be separated from marriage and motherhood, and this will make civilization better, not worse.