Apr 192016
 

If you have been around this part of the internet long enough, you know about how when women complain about their problems, they don’t want their problems fixed. They want to just complain about them. This video communicates this concept very succinctly and effectively:

And just to really drive the point home, here is one of the comments under that video:

A woman was drowning. I look at her from the dock and said, “I know you do not want me to “fix” your situation. I want you to know that I know what your feeling, the desperation, the fear, you see I almost drowned, so I can relate, I sympathize and have compassion for you. I am sorry this is happening to you. The woman died, but I feel very good that I provided her with the comfort of my sympathy and compassion and did not upset her by “fixing” her situation.

Apr 012015
 

It’s time for the annual update of the Reptilian Alien Corporate Empire and its rule of this planet via the Illuminati.

I had this great plan to oppress human women via global warming.  As the temperature rises more and more human woman would be forced into prostitution.  All I have to do is turn the heat up, so to speak, and human women become sex slaves.  (This also has the side benefit of getting rid of cold winters like this last cold winter in the DC area where I was freezing my scaly ass off.)  This was working great until Rep. Barbara Lee of California exposed my plans in a Congressional resolution.  Like with all my problems ruling this planet for the Reptilian Alien Corporate Empire, it was caused by a stupid human underling who I had executed immediately.

I know you’re wondering how global warming could turn women into prostitutes.  It probably makes no sense to you.  You just have to accept that reptile aliens are smarter than you, and that such things are too complicated to understand.

Since I had to execute another human underling for gross stupidity, there is yet another opening in the Illuminati for a human underling in addition to the myriad of openings we already have.  If you’re smarter than the average human (which shouldn’t be difficult if you’re reading this), then you should join the Illuminati.  Here are the instructions that I posted before for getting an interview with the Illuminati.  If you’re lucky, you will get the opportunity to work directly for me in the command lair under Dulles Airport.

Mar 062015
 

This woman says she needs feminism because she isn’t getting sexually harassed like she should be:

If she could spell (or at least had the intelligence to not ignore spell check), then maybe she would get the sexual harassment she desires.

Seriously, women complain that men are supposedly sexually harassing them.  Then women realize they miss it and complain that men aren’t sexually harassing them.  Sorry, men aren’t going to sexually harass you just because you beg for it.

Feb 212015
 

On this week’s episode of Portlandia, they made fun of male feminists.  A guy with no job who does nothing around the house and wife is a breadwinner discovers that he’s a male feminist because he’s taking on the traditional female role.  It’s broken up into 3 segments starting at 02:08 and continuing at 10:04 and 19:16:

I recommend watching the whole thing.  The segment about all the alternate sexualities you can come up with for Coming Out Day is hilarious and so is the segment where an actress gets advice from the Feminist Bookstore women.  And the Feminist Bookstore segment merges into the last male feminist segment so you need to watch it to know what’s going on.

What I really liked about how Portlandia made fun of male feminists is how it made fun (probably unintentionally) of both male feminists and stay at home women.  The guy discovers that he’s a male feminist because he’s taken on the traditional female role, and his wife has taken on the traditional male role.  However, the guy doesn’t do any cleaning or cooking.  They have a maid, and the wife ends up doing the cooking.  That’s a very interesting way of slamming women for being feminist, but also wanting to stay at home and not do any housework either.

The last segment was good too.  The guy (along with some other male feminists) annoy some people in a movie theater, and neither men nor women are interested in what they have to say.  I won’t spoil what happens to the guy (and the other male feminists), but you will appreciate it.

Apr 012014
 

What I’m about to write may invoke strong feelings in you.  It’s a good idea to read until the end so you understand the complete context of what I’m writing.

I have made a decision.  I’m going to ask Leila, my girlfriend, to marry me.  I’m not going to do it right now, but I will in the future.  I’m getting older, and I have realized that Mark Minter was correct.  He didn’t want to die alone, and I want to avoid that fate too.  Leila is a much better choice than GeishaKate ever would be.  She doesn’t have any kids, and she has enough money to give me a degree of security if she divorces me.

The real reason I have decided to get married is due to pressure from my reptile alien superiors at the Illuminati.  They need me to get married to maintain appearances when I shape shift into a human.  Plus, they have guaranteed in writing that if Leila divorces me, they will call in a drone strike on her.  With that kind of guarantee it’s safe to get married.

Mar 082014
 

Today is International Womens’ Day.  I know all of you are excited about it and looking for a way to celebrate it.  What you should do is watch this compilation of Feminist Bookstore clips from Portlandia:

You get to see feminists having to get repair MEN to fix their air conditioner and feminists being unable to operate a computer or order books alphabetically (even after another woman explains both of those things).  It’s very appropriate for International Womens’ Day.

Apr 012013
 

As the Supreme High Commander of the Illuminati, I have to deliver the following message.

Recently, a would be rapper shot his friend as a blood sacrifice in an attempt to joint the Illuminati.  This is not how you join the Illuminati.  We are not interested in “blood sacrifices”.  When we want someone shot, we will tell you, and it will be for real tangible gains, not “blood sacrifices”.  I am not impressed by anyone who tries to “show initiative” by performing a “blood sacrifice”.  It says you’re not Illuminati material because you’re incapable of making rational decisions.  Despite what you may have heard, the Illuminati is not interested in meaningless “blood sacrifices”, devil worship, or the occult.  We’re a serious world ruling organization based on reptile alien rationality.

If you wish to attempt to join the Illuminati, I posted some instructions a few years ago.  Any deviation from those instructions while attempting to join the Illuminati will disqualify you from joining the Illuminati and may get you executed.

 

Dec 192012
 

The Woman And The Dragon reported on this guy who got into trouble for teaching game to men at his church.  Matthew (Eumaios) wrote this comment about that post:

Name names. Expose the church. Invite PMAFT, as it’s obviously full of easy targets. These men are false teachers.

Remember, when there are chicks in church that need to picked up, you call me.

Apr 012012
 

As a reptile alien, I am constantly amused by what humans accuse my species of doing.  My latest amusement is that somehow my species is now attacking humans as they take showers.  Let’s read that “report” from that link:

As my spirituality increases, it appears that I am become more an increasing beacon for dark side entities.

And NOT all of these negative, intelligent energies afoot, earthbound, are human!

Dark side entities?  Is this guy aware that Star Wars is fiction?  I’m guessing not.

Ethereal cleansing, using running shower water to help me visualize washing dark energy down the drain, is a defensive tool I use to combat the build up of static electricity, EMG connections associated with the ‘touch’ of stubborn, unseen and ‘hungry’ unseen entities.

As a reptile alien, I find this idea silly and irrational.  When you take a shower, your suppose to do things like use soap.  It’s about washing yourself, at least that’s what the purpose of a shower is for a reptile alien.  It’s not getting rid of non-existent “dark energy”.  At this point I’m not surprised that many humans don’t understand the purpose of a shower.  Just look at how many human women are refusing to engage in basic hygiene.

However, an unseen entity baffled me when, rather than vanishing, it used the water’s energy to partially materialize for a full moment or two to study me, an energy lunch which actually resisted and refused to be nibbled at!

It had drained energy from me, had burned my skin where connections touched, and had buzzed me within, psychically; sudden, unprovoked sexual urges and negative ideations had surfaced.

Unprovoked sexual urges?  What reptile alien wants to get involved with that?

Under the shower water, a creature had semi-materialized!

It had stared me right in the eye and blinked and looked again.

It stood under five feet upright, had catlike slit eyes, and closely resembled a scaled monitor lizard, in both aspect and facial structure.

That reptilian viewed me with its head tilted, cocked sideways, birdlike; it had piercingly studied me with an alert intelligence that had radiated curiosity. After just a few seconds, the creature vanished.

Still under the shower’s waters, I had remained frozen, in sheer amazement, having seen a creature I had never imagined existed .

Never imagined existed?  There’s a reason for that, namely that such shower invading reptile aliens don’t exist.

It was so very similar in construct to the velociraptor creatures, in Steven Spielberg’s film, “Jurassic Park”, in both a proprietary as well as a sinister demeanor.

Like those cinema raptors, this short upright reptile mirrored an intense look of saurian intellect, a precise cross between a man and a reptile.

I was horrified to see that momentary, inquisitive immature reptilian alien, because it had long had a reputation in UFO literature and research as an inter dimensional bottom feeder, a sinister common parasite of human consciousness.

These beings see us as,”containers”, to quote them!

I have called you humans a lot of things, but never a “container”.

Post abduction, alien abductee predation is done both through implant energy drains and by inserting alien astral attachments, within the layered human psyche towards a goal of eventual possession.

Evil is as evil does: kidnapping, rape, telepathic attack, insidious omnipresent micro-managing of our emotions, energies and sexuality through implant drains, treating us as though we were guinea pigs, orchestrating joys, disasters and horrors into our lives to milk us of energy; isn’t that enough of a definition?

Why in the world would any of us want to do this?  Do you know how time consuming it is to micro-manage a human’s emotions?  We would rather get laid and have fun with our hobbies.  Do you humans think we reptile aliens have nothing better to do than micro-manage your lives?

Evil’s definition of predatory, sinister and self-justifying is more than satisfied with these overlord reptilian entities.

Imagine a cityscape of people, who have saurian parasites ethereally attached to their spinal columns.

It lends a new meaning to the concept of a silent invasion.

These bizarre beings, highly technological and equally interdimensional and intergalactic, use us as we ride horses.

Unlike the hesitant touch of a lost human spirit, the reptilian prevailed with sharp painful burning, a much stronger negative entity, more persistent than anything previously encountered, psychically.

That sharp painful burning is an STD.  Go see a doctor.  And no, you didn’t get that STD from a reptile alien.

Worse, it now had seemed stuck, like chewing gum, on the bottom of my psychic shoe.

Morning and night, this persistent horrid entity feasted on my energies like an unerring, stubborn yellow jacket wasp,

fancying me like a can of cola at a picnic with the same insect stubbornness. .

I had taken that shower out of sheer desperation.

This person needs to consider that a shower isn’t the source of or the answer to his problems.

It had most certainly NOT been human but had radiated a brilliance of intellect.

Seeking advice and insight, scared, flabbergasted and lugubrious, I wrote a long note, like this essay, to Robert Bruce and later received his wise, short and pithy advice from my mentor and teacher, ( “Astral Dynamics: The Complete Book of Out-of-Body ExperiencesParapsychology Books) “, ” “), Practical Psychic Self Defense Handbook, The: A Survival GuideNew Thought Books)an expert in ridding one of unseen, meddling “NEGATIVE ENTITIES”.

If you need “advice and insight”, a psychiatrist would be better suited for this person’s needs.

It goes on, but I’m insulted by the whole thing.  The reptile alien empire is about conquering planets, not watching you in the shower.  We have better things to do that be perverts.  As the leader of the reptile alien empire on this planet, I can say with certainty that no reptile aliens are watching you in the shower.  Do you humans seriously think we conquered half the galaxy by spending all day watching creatures like you shower?

Nov 162011
 

I have encountered some weird conspiracy theories, but this one from no more mr nice guy at El Manboobo takes the cake:

Furthermore the manosphere is recruiting guys that are unsuccessful with women in dating forums because they want them to fail and encourage guys in the manosphere that find a woman to leave her. As an example, a 25 old virgin found a girlfriend and the Inmalafide crowd told him to leave her :http://www.inmalafide.com/blog/2011/10/27/death-of-a-beta/

We’re recruiting guys in dating forums who are unsuccessful with women now?  Was this before or after we were supposedly recruiting homosexuals?

This person also doesn’t accurately describe what was happening ta that IMF link.

All right I admit it.  I’m recruiting an army of sexually frustrated males to destroy feminism once and for else, and the I will turn that army to make on the world so I can reveal how the world is ruled by reptile aliens.

Nov 052011
 

What I’m really up to has been discovered again:

Yeah I have a conspiracy theory…

Banging hot women is hard because you have to compete with shape-changing reptile aliens from planet x.

We don’t call our home planet, planet x, but I can’t believe that my secret agenda to have shape shifting reptile aliens like myself bang hot women has been exposed.  Whatever shall I do?

Oct 202011
 

A blog called the “We Are The 53%”, referring to the 53% of the population that pays federal income tax, got started in response to the “We Are The 99%” blog.  One of those individuals that pays federal income tax is Darth Vader:

I should submit something about being a reptile alien who rules the world to the “We Are The 53%” blog.

Sep 252011
 

I hope you have all been buying Ben and Jerry’s Schweddy Balls ice cream and telling Ben and Jerry’s how much you like their Schweddy Balls ice cream.  Last night, Alec Baldwin was hosting Saturday Night Live and mentioned the boycott of Schweddy Balls ice cream along with Ben and Jerry’s new flavor, Go Fudge Yourself:

Jul 202011
 

There’s a show called Portlandia, and they did a spoof of a feminist bookstore in Portland.  It was done in an actual feminist bookstore in Portland called In Other Words.  (That store is the subject of a Spearhead post that should be up soon.)  Watch for the part where one of the feminists in the bookstore says to a girl pointing, “Every time you point I see a penis.”:

 

Jul 082011
 

A commenter, who was revealed to be a member of the Illuminati a few days ago, decided to reveal the existence of the Voluminati:

There is even a special subdivision of the Illuminati for the obese members of the organization. It is called the ‘Voluminati’. Black guys like Obsidian and David Alexander like to date the Voluminati chicks.

This had me laughing so hard.  What makes it funnier is that we all know obese chicks are the only chicks Obsidian can date.  David Alexander could date Voluminati chicks but he thinks he’s too much of a “sub-human male”, and he’s too busy ass kissing women like Alte to do that.

 

Jun 082011
 

One of the most annoying parts of being head of the Illuminati is all of the fake meetings I have to attend.  Think of how annoying real meetings are.  Fake meetings are even worse.  I’m in Switzerland for the 2011 Bilderberg meeting.  Nothing actually goes on during the Bilderberg meeting.  It’s just a ruse to fool conspiracy theorists.  To make the ruse work, everyone including me has to show up at it.  I can’t even enjoy Switzerland.  I have to be in pretend meetings all day.

That’s bad enough but it’s actually worse.  Because this is a ruse to fool conspiracy theorists they actually show up and yell using bullhorns.  Alex Jones is notorious for yelling through a bullhorn at our fake meetings.  Having to listen to Alex Jones yell in a bullhorn is what Hell must be like.  The Reptile Alien Homeworld will not let me do anything like shape shift into a demon to scare off the conspiracy theorists because that would destroy the purpose of having these fake meetings.  Luckily this will only be a few days.

The Illuminati’s real meetings are much more interesting and fun.  They take place in areas you can’t get to such as deep space and underground where the worms from hell live.

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