Here’s an example I was thinking of after I wrote my original post.
I work at a largish engineering company, and help organize events for summer interns. One of them is an “ask us anything” panel where we encourage interns to ask recently graduated full-time employees about life at the company without managers / HR in the room.
Every year, we get a young woman asking us something along the lines of “I’ve heard the engineering industry is super sexist. How horribly oppressed am I going to be?”
Now, the response they usually get from the ladies on the panel (who I assume are being truthful) is basically “you will very occasionally get some sexist / not-quite-appropriate remarks, almost exclusively from people either within 10 years of retirement (hence self solving) or from the non-college educated techs that have a rougher culture in general. This will be mildly annoying but won’t have a real effect on your career”.
So given that it seems workplace sexism for our engineers isn’t really fake, but is typically a minor irritant at worst, is that female intern really well served by being primed to expect lousy sexist treatment? The potential paranoia that every adverse decision is unavoidable due to your gender, or that today will be the day you’re horribly harassed… can’t that be worse than the actual harm of the intransigent remaining vestiges of professional sexism?
This shows that there is no vile hive mind running an assault mission against women in tech. In addition, the two examples of “kindly annoying misogyny” in tech are likely to not be misogyny at all. In the case of the men within 10 years of retirement, that is more likely to be noting more than failing to use the latest SJW approved language than actual misogyny. For the less educated men, that is likely to be the problem as well plus the (college educated) women being bigoted against men who are not college educated. Thus, it is clear that there is no misogyny in the tech industry.