I found a woman on Reddit who should be a candidate for Entitlement Princess of the Month, but what she said is too vile to wait that long. A woman wrote a post on Reddit titled “Feeling are more important than reality”:
This has been a point I’ve been trying t tackle in my life for a while now, and I’m hoping this sub can help out. I’d like to add a trigger warning for topics of sexual assault.
Often when I’m discussing social topics with people who don’t tend to agree with me the conversation will hit a point where the other person will present some fact that will go against what I have just said, but doesn’t necessarily counter the point I’m trying to argue. So often they just drop supposed “facts” as if that makes the matter ok. I’ll try to present some examples that will clarify what I mean.
Whenever I’m trying to discuss or spread awareness of sexual assault on campuses, it seems that someone will always come along and deny that it’s a problem. He will throw out articles claiming that the 1 in 5 stat is wrong or misleading, and that there really isn’t that much of a problem (as if we could know that for certain). My issue is that even if all these things are true, it doesn’t stop the underlying issue of women feeling unsafe at colleges. It only makes the issue worse if so many women are being given the impression that their potential rape is not a concern because it is statistically insignificant. The feelings are being dismissed by the “reality” of the situation and I can’t make myself see what that should be the case. Does empathy count for nothing in today’s world?
Speaking of feeling safe, I find these kinds of people are also dismissive of safe spaces for people of color or other minorities in university. I want to make the same assertion here; If people feel safer in these situations, why is it alright to ridicule them or try and take those spaces away? It isn’t harming anyone, and it’s making people feel better, which is helpful for their well being.
Another example is on International Womens Day a friend on Facebook made a post about how there is still a lot of work that needs to be done for women in todays society. The post mentioned that women still feel afraid to walk outside alone at night. Someone responded by saying that women are statistically much less likely to be assaulted at night than men.
What help is a comment like that? If I’m afraid to be out at night, and I have a 0% chance of being assaulted or raped, and I’m afraid of being out on a night where there is a 50% chance of those things happening and in that instance they don’t, my panicked walk home is the same miserable experience.
Now, I hope I have presented examples that have a clear connection. I’m obviously not arguing that there is no harm in a situation where someone feels like they will be ok if they put their hand on a heated stove element or something like that. I think it’s more for situations where and individuals perception is their reality. What benefit is there is trying to dismiss that by saying that “actual reality” isn’t how they see it? It’s like if someone said “I’m scared of the dark” and someone else said “Why? The dark can’t hurt you”. Even if the dark can’t hurt someone, you’re just disregarding their pain instead of, I don’t know, turing on the lights or something helpful and trivial.
I’m having such a hard time seeing the other side of this. Please change my view!
tl;dr feelings inform our reality, so “feels” are more important than a facts for situations that concern individuals.
I added the bold to some parts of this. This is an excellent examples of how women think that their feelings are correct when their feelings are practically the opposite of what actually happens in reality. This woman will defend against that being pointed out, by saying that “her feelings are about making a larger point”. Since she has the facts wrong in the first place, her “larger points” and feelings are also wrong by definition. Take when she said, “women are being given the impression that their potential rape is not a concern because it is statistically insignificant”. If something happening is statistically insignificant, then it is a waste of time to be concerned about it. It is like saying, people in Canada should all learn how to defend themselves against being trampled by an elephant even though the chance of that happening to anyone in Canada is effectively zero.
This is the type of thinking that leads to women believing things like that carbon fiber and glaciers oppress women. That wouldn’t be so bad if the negative effect of women thinking their feelings override reality only applied to them. However, it does not. Everything from the Women In Tech movement’s attempt to remove men from the tech industry to women attacking doctors by accusing them of “fat shaming” and dentists by accusing them of “tooth shaming” to women attempting to end due process are the result of women believing that their feelings override reality. The results speak for themselves. Men either lose their jobs or are in danger of losing their jobs not due to nothing that happened in the real world, but to a woman’s desire to have them removed from her sight. Our health is in danger because doctors and dentists will be too afraid to speak about it with us since it might offend a woman’s feelings. We are in danger of losing our rights to due process because it makes women feel bad. The only way to fight this is to stand up and tell women that their feelings don’t override reality.