I had this great plan to oppress human women via global warming. As the temperature rises more and more human woman would be forced into prostitution. All I have to do is turn the heat up, so to speak, and human women become sex slaves. (This also has the side benefit of getting rid of cold winters like this last cold winter in the DC area where I was freezing my scaly ass off.) This was working great until Rep. Barbara Lee of California exposed my plans in a Congressional resolution. Like with all my problems ruling this planet for the Reptilian Alien Corporate Empire, it was caused by a stupid human underling who I had executed immediately.
I know you’re wondering how global warming could turn women into prostitutes. It probably makes no sense to you. You just have to accept that reptile aliens are smarter than you, and that such things are too complicated to understand.
Since I had to execute another human underling for gross stupidity, there is yet another opening in the Illuminati for a human underling in addition to the myriad of openings we already have. If you’re smarter than the average human (which shouldn’t be difficult if you’re reading this), then you should join the Illuminati. Here are the instructions that I posted before for getting an interview with the Illuminati. If you’re lucky, you will get the opportunity to work directly for me in the command lair under Dulles Airport.