Mule, all Driscoll is asking is that young men learn a trade, put down the porn, and find a girl to marry–what responsible men have done since Creation, really. If that’s too much, you’ve just made Driscoll’s point.
Or, put in terms the actuaries might use for us, if you don’t marry and father some children, good luck having someone to change your bedpan when you’re too old to work and Medicare and Social Security have collapsed. Yes, getting married risks divorce in the next decade. Not getting married risks dying in misery a few more decades hence.
Shaming language about not having children and no one to take care of you when your old isn’t quite covered by the Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics so it needs an entry I’m calling code bronze.
Threat of No Legacy (Code Bronze)
Discussion: Because marriage has turned into an anti-male institution, many men have knowingly or unknowing decided to go their own way and avoid marriage. In most cases, this will correspond with never having children. The (unmarried and childless) target is threatened with a calamity that will befall them when they are older due to their lack of marriage and children. Examples:
- While there’s a risk of divorce in getting married in the next decade, there’s a risk of dying in misery with no one to change your bedpan when you’re elderly.
- You will be trapped in a nursing home when you are older with no one to visit you.
- You will die alone.
- There will be no one to remember you after you are dead.
- Your family will die out with you.
Response: There are two issues here, what happens before death and what happens after death. After death a man is not going to be around to care about if he has children or if anyone remembers him. Also, if a man wants to be remembered, he does not need children to accomplish that. Before death, the issue is one of frailty and long term care, not “dying alone”. This shaming language assumes that children will be caregivers for their elderly parents. There is no guarantee of this. In rare cases, children may die before their parents. It’s likely that children will dump their parents into a nursing home instead of providing elderly care themselves. Women may try to alienate children from their fathers, so men with children could easily be in the same situation as childless men. A man who falls victim to this type of shaming language is more likely to make a bad marriage decision like marrying a single mother. In this case, the children aren’t his and are likely to not care about long term care of an elderly man with who not related to them. Having children is not a guarantee of anything, and it’s more likely that a man will end up in a situation of getting divorced and having no one to “change his bedpan”.