Happy Thanksgiving. Apparently, it’s only a happy Thanksgiving if you’re a man. Women are oppressed by Thanksgiving.
If men don’t cook the turkey, we’re oppressing women by forcing them to cook the whole Thanksgiving meal. If men cook the turkey, then we’re mad scientists and still oppressing women by forcing them to do all the prep work and cleanup. It doesn’t matter how much or how little men do on Thanksgiving. Also using innocent words like tackle on Thanksgiving oppresses women. Carving the turkey oppresses women since the carving tools are rape tools, vaguely shaped like male genitalia. If a woman carves the turkey, then it’s because a man forced her to handle his rape tool. Don’t think that canceling Thanksgiving is an option because that would oppress women in some way.
You might as well enjoy your Thanksgiving because women will think they’re oppressed by the existence of Thanksgiving (or lack of existence of Thanksgiving) no matter what you do.
Once Thanksgiving is done, I’m sure we will be hearing how other holidays oppress women. I can’t wait to hear how Arbor Day oppresses women.