Apr 012013
 

As the Supreme High Commander of the Illuminati, I have to deliver the following message.

Recently, a would be rapper shot his friend as a blood sacrifice in an attempt to joint the Illuminati.  This is not how you join the Illuminati.  We are not interested in “blood sacrifices”.  When we want someone shot, we will tell you, and it will be for real tangible gains, not “blood sacrifices”.  I am not impressed by anyone who tries to “show initiative” by performing a “blood sacrifice”.  It says you’re not Illuminati material because you’re incapable of making rational decisions.  Despite what you may have heard, the Illuminati is not interested in meaningless “blood sacrifices”, devil worship, or the occult.  We’re a serious world ruling organization based on reptile alien rationality.

If you wish to attempt to join the Illuminati, I posted some instructions a few years ago.  Any deviation from those instructions while attempting to join the Illuminati will disqualify you from joining the Illuminati and may get you executed.

 

  25 Responses to “This Is Not How You Join The Illuminati”

  1. Or you can just join forces with disinfo agents like Paul Elam, and I’m sure the Illuminati will give you some funds to fund your disinfo campaign.

  2. Sssshhhhh! It’s a secret, remember.

    Last time I checked higher ranking masonic institutions rejected women, so despite my disapproval of wearing aprons, I want to get in on the act.

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