Dec 122012
 

TFH writes about the silence of paternal grandmothers in losing their grandchildren due to their sons getting divorced:

I have to point this out until more people grasp this :

If women think the current laws are fair, and that getting unilateral custody is the way it should be…..

Then paternal grandmothers will lose access to their grandchildren when the father, her son, loses custody to the mother (her daughter-in-law).

So default mother custody causes plenty of paternal grandmothers to lose all contact to their grandchildren, as when the father is cut out, that means EVERYONE on the father’s side is cut out. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, you name it.

OK, so where is even the SMALL group of paternal grandmothers protesting default mother custody? What they thought was a great idea when they were having children, is now not such a good idea when their sons have children.

Old grandmothers are politically powerful. So where is the organization of ‘Grandmas against default mother custody’? Where?

Just one more example of women having no concept of cause and effect or long-term consequences.

There’s more to this than women having no concept of (long term) cause and effect.  It’s one thing to not realize that divorce means that you can’t see your grandchildren before a divorce happens.  It’s another to be fine with it afterwards as paternal grandmothers appear to be.  This is an example of team woman in action.  It’s a particularly extreme example in that grandmothers are willing to never see their grandchildren again just to support daughters in law they will no longer have a connection with.

The only way to deal with this is a true grandchildren strike, denying grandchildren from potential grandmothers.  A grandchildren strike should not be necessary, but as we can see, paternal grandmothers don’t care when they can no longer see their grandchildren.  The only way to deal with this is to not have children in the first place.  Usually, I advocate surrogate mothers in India for men who really want children in the current feminist climate, but doing so protects our mothers from the consequences of their actions.  That is unconscionable so perhaps we should all be on a grandchildren strike.

  8 Responses to “Why We Need A Grandchildren Strike”

  1. Usually, I advocate surrogate mothers in India for men who really want children in the current feminist climate, but doing so protects our mothers from the consequences of their actions. That is unconscionable so perhaps we should all be on a grandchildren strike.

    Well, I don’t know about that. Surrogacy hired by men is more and more seeming like a perfect solution.

    I think each man should interview his mother, and see if she ‘gets it’ about how her daughter-in-law can take the children away. If she still supports the laws, then yes, deny her. If she does not, then one need not punish their mother.

    I say it is more an inability to grasp cause and effect, rather than Team Woman. Many mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws deeply hate each other even in intact marriages. They just can’t see things holistically.

    BUT…. there is NO organization, even a small one, about ‘Paternal Grandmothers rights’.

    • Well, I don’t know about that. Surrogacy hired by men is more and more seeming like a perfect solution.

      Until you take into account that it protects our mothers from the consequences of their actions in one aspect, I agree. The reason I’m conflicted about this is because while surrogacy protects a man from having his children taken away from him, it also prevents his mother from experiencing that consequence of her feminism. The other side of that is that paternal grandmothers who can no longer see their grandchildren due to custody judgments don’t really care that they can no longer see their grandchildren. (Otherwise, there would be paternal grandmother organizations up in arms about this.)

      Maybe what men need to do is have children via surrogacy, but prevent any kind of grandmother-grandchild relationship.

      • That is *if* one’s mother is a feminist. So individual circumstances will vary.

        My mother ‘gets it’ to some extent, and agrees the laws are unfair. She never spouts feminist lines. Then again, she grew up among a peer group where no other women divorced either, so it is not anything she or her sisters or friends ever considered.

        If your mother is actually a feminist (or otherwise divorced your father), then the situation is different. You should interview her, show her evidence of evil misandry propagated by feminism, and see if she changes her views, or instead doubles down. That will determine what she does or does not deserve regarding grandchildren.

        Thus, individual mothers will vary.

        You can also test her under the tactic of “If I hire a surrogate as a single father, will you help me change diapers, etc. I don’t want to marry, but am willing to hire a surrogate. Will you help?” Her reaction to this will also determine what she deserves.

        Note that Toban Morrison’s mother did help him (it is unclear that she is still married to his father, though).

        http://photogallery.thestar.com/1038282

  2. One needs to illustrate this emotionally to their mothers.

    Talking about the law by itself won’t register. Instead, one has to build a visualization of ‘cute little grandchildren coming over to see their Grandma’. When her facial expression indicates that she is immersed in the scenario, THEN, hit her with the fact that the daughter-in-law can take them away, and they will, over time, forget about Grandma altogether.

    This is where what we learn from Game helps in ALL human interactions, not only sexual situations. Building an emotional image for your mother about cute little grandkids, and then ripping it away and showing them the chronicles of custody judgments from The Spearhead, is the way to scare your mother into (perhaps, maybe) getting it to some extent.

    • Building an emotional image for your mother about cute little grandkids, and then ripping it away and showing them the chronicles of custody judgments from The Spearhead, is the way to scare your mother into (perhaps, maybe) getting it to some extent.

      Would this really work? If the actual act of this happening with them experiencing it doesn’t inspire our mothers to do anything, why would describing it to them make a difference?

      • Try it and see what happens. Couldn’t hurt.

        I still think inability to connect cause and effect is the biggest driver here. Drenching the topic in an emotion-evoking visualization is always more effective with women than a rational, logical discussion. Always.

  3. Even without custody issues, grandparents have no rights to see the grandkids. My husband and I are lucky to have wonderful parents, but if they were anything like my paternal grandma or some of my aunts and uncles, they’d be getting no access to our future kids.

  4. You’re forgetting one important detail:

    Paternal Grandma’s on Team Woman.

    My ex-wife and mother remained on good terms after our divorce. Heck, if anything, they communicate more openly nowadays than they did while we were married. My mom’s not a bad person, but I definitely feel/felt at times as if she were ‘sympathizing with the enemy’. They talk on the phone, exchange Christmas cards, the whole nine yards, supposedly just to be “cordial”, but they seem pretty chummy at times to me. Plus the ex needs someone to dump the kids on while she’s working or running around with her boyfriends doing god knows what, and Mom is always happy to babysit. She’d sooner ask my mother to watch our son and daughter than me, that much is for sure.

    I am not the only man who experiences this, two or three of my buddies observed the same phenomenon with their divorces; one tells me he knows for a fact that his mom and his ex have regular gossip fests about him, whether or not he’s ‘good father material’, etc.

    Even our moms will turn against us if it’s what it takes to get what they want, and score another point for Team Woman while they’re at it.

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