Jan 062012
 

Over the holidays I took time off to visit family.  At one point I had nothing to do, and I wasn’t interested in reading the internet through my smartphone anymore so I looked for something to watch on TV.  This is something I don’t usually do as I usually have other things to do.  My TV watching is much more directed towards specific things.  I went through the cable’s On Demand service and found this show called Secretly Pregnant Sluts.  (The actual title is Secretly Pregnant, but Secretly Pregnant Sluts describes the show more accurately.)  It’s on the Discovery Fit & Health channel which is one of the 90% of channels on cable that I never watch because it’s entertainment for women 24/7.  I would assume that a channel called “Fit & Health” would promote fitness and health.  Secretly Pregnant Sluts did neither.

Here are a few of the sluts that were featured on this show:

  1. Bikini Model Slut.  Bikini model slut actually lives in the DC area.  She was keeping her pregnancy a secret because she’s worried that she will lose modeling jobs.  She didn’t even look like a bikini model.  They show her hanging out with her model friends one time and the difference between her and the rest of the models who look like models was striking.  She was a single mother too, but when she got pregnant, she married her boyfriend.  Her kids were from her first marriage, and bikini model slut admitted on camera that her first marriage was just so she could get having kids out of the way and was not for love.  It wasn’t said on camera, but I’m sure she also likes the chilimony check she’s getting.
  2. Ugly Obese Slut.  Ugly obese slut was married during part of the filming.  She was unemployed along with her husband and living with her mom.  She already had one kid she can’t provide for financially.  Eventually, she kicks her husband out.  Before that her husband says on camera says that he has been on job interviews and even gotten job offers, but the jobs “weren’t what he was looking for”.  (I guess he was waiting for a management position.)  Unemployment was a common problem among all the sluts and their husbands and boyfriends.
  3. Ugly Cougar Slut.  Ugly cougar slut was 40 years old and a single mother with a few kids.  She was at a bar and met a 19 year old guy.  They banged, but thought it would be a one night stand until they ended up pregnant.  They decided to try to have a “relationship”, but it was fraught with problems.  The 19 year old guy was unemployed and didn’t have a lot going on upstairs.  (I suspect a scan of his brain would find a large hole where a brain is supposed to be.)  Ugly cougar slut got her man a job at her office.  Eventually, this goes south, and he ends up in jail.  Eventually, ugly cougar slut’s office figures out that the guy she got a job there was her boyfriend so she ends up humiliated at her office due to everything that happened.
  4. College Slut.  There isn’t a lot to say about her that isn’t similar to the other sluts except that she gets knocked up at 19 by her boyfriend.   He is neither in college nor employed.
  5. Ugly Obese Repeat Slut.  Ugly obese repeat slut is also ugly and obese like ugly obese slut.  This slut already had been knocked up in college and was a single mother with one kid.  Now, she’s in her 20s and gets knocked up again.  Her boyfriend spent two years in jail.  She also has “employment difficulties”.
  6. Mistress Slut.  Mistress slut had an affair with a married man.  She gets knocked up by the married guy, but the married guy decides to stay with his wife.  She goes back to the married guy and gets knocked up by him AGAIN.  (Filming takes place during the pregnancy of her second kid.)  She lives in New York City and gets told by her family in Florida to move down to Florida because it’s cheaper.  While mistress slut has a job, NYC is expensive especially with two kids.  However, mistress slut doesn’t want to give up her pseudo sex and the city lifestyle.
  7. Raised By Her Daughter Slut.  This slut was 42 years old and got knocked up by her boyfriend.  She didn’t think she could get pregnant at her age so she wasn’t careful.  She was a single mom with two daughters.  Her oldest daughter who was 22 was obviously the adult in their relationship.  The younger, 17 year old, daughter went to live with the 22 year old because the slut couldn’t take care of her.  This slut spent most of her time worrying about what her 22 year old was going to think of her being pregnant.  The slut’s daughter realizes that the slut’s boyfriend is useless so that feeds into the slut’s freaking out.  She kept saying things like. “If my daughter wants me to give up the baby for adoption, I will do it.”  In terms of freaking out she was worse than all of the other sluts on this show.  She was also unemployed as was her boyfriend.  Her boyfriend didn’t see a problem with this state because he kept saying, “God will provide for us.”

There were other sluts featured in this show, but at this point they’re just like the sluts I listed.  Unemployment, financial, and legal (i.e. jail) problems were commonplace among either the sluts or their men.  Since I don’t want that much TV and ignore most of the channels on my FIOS system (as they are pure female entertainment 24/7), I didn’t realize how bad most of TV has become.  I knew it was bad, but not this bad.  This show is designed to tap straight into the female psyche and rationalization hamster.  The drama could be considered to be manufactured as the sluts are responsible for their situations.  The website for the show even has ideas for its female viewership to manufacture drama with pages like, “5 Reasons to Keep Your Pregnancy a Secret“, “Hiding the Baby Bump“, and “Is He Ready to Be a Dad?”  This show not only features female manufactured drama, but it also shows women new ways to manufacture drama in their own lives.

  12 Responses to “Secretly Pregnant Sluts”

  1. PMAFT, there is something I want to ask you in private. Is there a way I can send you an email?

  2. Haven’t any of these sluts heard of abortion?

  3. […] “Should Christians Even Bother Voting?”Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech – “Secretly Pregnant Sluts”TDOM – “Redefining Masculinity — Fuck Hugo Schwyzer”Omnipitron […]

  4. I clicked the link and watched a little bit of the video.
    These chicks are screwed up.

  5. This show would be good had women actually been shamed for their actions, but of course no such luck.

  6. Unemployment, financial, and legal (i.e. jail) problems were commonplace among either the sluts or their men.

    Well, it is not as if they would catch young, handsome billionaires.

    • “Well, it is not as if they would catch young, handsome billionaires.”

      Yet, in their heart of hearts, they just know they deserve one, and could hook one easily.

      • Just like those morbidly-obese, poorly hygienic men living in their mom’s basements just knowing that they deserve Kayla Collins or Lindsey Evans.

        • If you see any of those men doing the male equivalent of slutmarches, let me know. Otherwise your attempt to equate one with the other doesn’t work.

  7. This is absolutely hilarious to read- and i couldn’t agree with you more.
    However, I don’t think you’re supposed to refer to a woman who married as a ‘slut’. Unless, of course, somebody other then the husband is the daddy.

    Referring to married women who become preggers as ‘sluts’ is jr. high school-level rhetoric. She’s supposed to put out- remember?

    But I love your blog I coudln’t stop laughing at the show’s character descriptions.

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