Dec 292011

I’m really disappointed in the lack of Dilbert Award submissions.   The reason why we only have Dilbert Awards one a quarter instead of once of month is because of the lack of submissions.  Go out and find some successful men who were stupid enough to get involved with a single mother, and submit them here.

A famous Hollywood actor has no problem getting most any woman he wants.  Since he’s on TV and/or movie screens, he gets a lot of visibility so he does not lack in options when it comes to women.  A Hollywood actor has no reason to get together with a single mother, much less one significantly older than him.  Yet, that is what Ashton Kutcher, this quarter’s Dilbert Award winner, did when he married Demi Moore.  While it was absurd for Ashton Kutcher to get married to a woman 16 years older then him, he also got married to a single mother.  Demi Moore has three children from her marriage to Bruce Willis.  While Kutcher and Moore are currently separated and on their way to getting divorced, the fact is that Ashton Kutcher married a single mother 16 years older than him and spent 6 years married to her.  That makes him eligible for the Dilbert Award, and why I selected him for this quarter’s winner.

Normally there would be voting like with the Entitlement Princess of the Month, but due to the lack of submissions, Kutcher wins the 2011 Fourth Quarter Dilbert Award by default.

  6 Responses to “2011 Fourth Quarter Dilbert Award Winner: Ashton Kutcher”

  1. ”That makes him eligible for the Dilbert Award, and why I selected him for this quarter’s winner.”

    Agree, and disagree.

    In the sense of (more) normal male-female relationships, you’re absolutely correct. Any “average Joe” who’d opted to marry an older (and likely infertile/done having kids) single mother would be a real chump, setting himself up for (at best) disappointment and (at worse) a serious legal ass-raping – all in exchange for the disingenuous praise of SoCon-types who like to pretend that such undertakings are heroic efforts.

    But, Kutcher isn’t an “Average Joe”, and he doesn’t live and operate in any normal sort of world (as the rest of us would understand it). He’s a “Celeb”, and as such, abnormal. He, like other celebs thrive on public attention – any attention, good or bad.

    If you think about it, why the F&*% does anyone care the first thing about Paris Hilton, the Kardassians, or even Lindsay Lohan. They are no-talent ass-clowns who would not stand out from amongst the bevy of beautiful women but for their outrageous and lurid behaviors.

    It’s much the same for celebrity men of marginal talent. They have to garner press attention to keep their names current and themselves in demand. Kutcher would just as likely faded away following “That 70’s Show” and “Punked”, replaced by the next “hot guy” in a hot role.

    But, by marrying Moore, Kutcher ensured himself lots and lots of attention, especially with the aging/fading female demographic who just eat the “Cougar” sh*t up. That’s worth untold amounts of paid-for PR in Hollywood celeb reality.

    He’s a piss-poor example for most young men, but perhaps a shrewd operator in his “world”.

  2. Kutcher should get an award, just for being an asshat …

    He basically raped his career by taking on the sabotaged by Charlie Sheen show two & half asshats …

    Theres a reason Sheen caused a shit storm regarding two & a half asshats …

    & Kutcher walked right into that reason …

  3. Kutcher got seriously involved with Moore for two reasons:

    1. He had a residual jonesing for her from the days when she was a megahot young babe and he was in high school punching the clown. Like today if some movie star who was in high school the in the late 1990s started banging Cameron Diaz imagining her as she was in There’s Something About Mary when he jacked off about her, or he starts slamming Jennifer Love Hewitt based on how she looked back on Party of Five. The girls still have some bangable looks, but the guy may be going “holy shit, I’m banging this unattainable chick I used to jack off to!” The more beta the man, the more he will stay with a formerly-unattainable-chick-now-sleeping-with-him—-ever see a rich nerd hook-up with the former queen bee chick?

    2. Career. Kutcher was the 5th banana on a 3rd rate sitcom—playing the dumb lunkhead with precious little to his character or comedy. Moore, in contrast, is a very successful producer and mover-and-shaker, in addition to her now-waned acting career (for example, she produced the original Austin Powers, which was a surprise hit and created a rich franchise). Plus she has a friendly divorce relationship with Bruce Willis, a major mover and shaker. In other words, honey’s connected.

    Kutcher’s career was set to be extinguished with That 70’s Show dying—he has little talent and no buzz. Hooking up with Moore got her connection and production values that gave pushes to Punk’d and Kutcher’s movie career. In short, Kutcher’s a Marion Davies (without the talent) to Moore’s William Randolph Hearst.

    But I always suspected Kutcher was playing her. I think’ s a weak-willed, talentless pussy-boy, but he’s smart enough to play his one-dimensional-angle well.

  4. I think the problem with the Dilbert awards is that its hard to find stories of high status men that marry single moms.

    It’s a bit of a class/IQ/HBD thing. The upper classes have fewer divorces and fewer slut single moms (percentage wise). When an upper class man looks to get married there just won’t be as many blatantly awful women in his social circle.
    Charles Murray, State of White America

  5. I nominate for this quarter’s dilbert award Chris Cline, elin Nordegren’s new boyfriend. Granted he hasn’t been stupid enough to marry her yet but since he settled for a washed up, violent, aging model he’s probably going to marry her (and her baggage)

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