Many of you have been waiting to hear about my Sunday Morning Nightclub (aka church) exploits. Your wait is over. I have been investigating various Sunday morning nightclubs here in the DC area, many of which are Sunday afternoon nightclubs, since the latest mass on Sunday is the best for this which is often technically in the afternoon.
At one of the Sunday Morning Nightclubs, I picked up a hot chick. Let’s call her Molly. She’s in her mid to late 20s and obviously one of those women who decided to go back to church to look for a
husband chump to marry. Thus picking her up was not difficult. We were having coffee (technically I don’t drink coffee, but that’s beside the point), and Molly tells me that she is a virgin and waiting to have sex until she is married. She wanted to be clear upfront so there’s no miscommunication down the line. I could tell Molly was full of BS on being a virgin, so I called her on it. She admitted I was right. What she’s really trying to do was “makeover” her life by taking morality “more seriously” so she’s going to wait until marriage for sex now.
I told her I was fine with this for several reasons. Many of you are wondering why because doesn’t this mean she won’t put out? She will put out, and it won’t be long before she does. I’m not even going to push the issue of sex. I am going to wait for her to beg me for it. I will not be waiting long. This way I will be able to show you how women who go to church in their late 20s/early 30s haven’t changed. They are just desperate for a chump before their looks fade. Nothing has changed about them. It’s going to be like that time Solomon got a Deacon’s daughter to show him her boobs, but more so.
This brings up the moral aspect of what I am doing. Think about if Molly got another guy at church. He would have been completely clueless about her real motivations and in real danger. I’m doing God’s work, and something very Christian, which the Christian Church is failing to do for these men, by protecting the innocent from predators. I’m defending those who can’t defend themselves.