Oct 242011
 

Many of you have been waiting to hear about my Sunday Morning Nightclub (aka church) exploits.  Your wait is over.  I have been investigating various Sunday morning nightclubs here in the DC area, many of which are Sunday afternoon nightclubs, since the latest mass on Sunday is the best for this which is often technically in the afternoon.

At one of the Sunday Morning Nightclubs, I picked up a hot chick.  Let’s call her Molly.  She’s in her mid to late 20s and obviously one of those women who decided to go back to church to look for a husband chump to marry.  Thus picking her up was not difficult.  We were having coffee (technically I don’t drink coffee, but that’s beside the point), and Molly tells me that she is a virgin and waiting to have sex until she is married.  She wanted to be clear upfront so there’s no miscommunication down the line.  I could tell Molly was full of BS on being a virgin, so I called her on it.  She admitted I was right.  What she’s really trying to do was “makeover” her life by taking morality “more seriously” so she’s going to wait until marriage for sex now.

I told her I was fine with this for several reasons.  Many of you are wondering why because doesn’t this mean she won’t put out?  She will put out, and it won’t be long before she does.  I’m not even going to push the issue of sex.  I am going to wait for her to beg me for it.  I will not be waiting long.  This way I will be able to show you how women who go to church in their late 20s/early 30s haven’t changed.  They are just desperate for a chump before their looks fade.  Nothing has changed about them.  It’s going to be like that time Solomon got a Deacon’s daughter to show him her boobs, but more so.

This brings up the moral aspect of what I am doing.  Think about if Molly got another guy at church.  He would have been completely clueless about her real motivations and in real danger.  I’m doing God’s work, and something very Christian, which the Christian Church is failing to do for these men, by protecting the innocent from predators.  I’m defending those who can’t defend themselves.

  17 Responses to “The (Not) Virgin From The Sunday Morning Nightclub”

  1. Are you chatting them up before or after church, or do you scan the rows before sitting right next to the chicks you target?

  2. BTW how come your blog is offline that often?

  3. You are a saint. I can see the epitaph being read in the Church of the Martyred Betas of Saint PMAFT the Tester of Righteousness, there might even be an icon of Saint PMAFT slaying a succubus.

    You are doing grand work for mankind.

  4. Yep another slut off the street. Or in this case out of the Church.. ;)

    High Five PMAFT. .

    “Think about if Molly got another guy at church. He would have been completely clueless about her real motivations and in real danger. ”

    Exactly!

    I am still chuckling over the virgin claim.

    Getting rid of the sluts gives the decent guys a better chance of snaring a good girl for marriage..

    Keep up the good work indeed!

  5. ” to look for a husband chump to marry. ”
    LMAO! Too funny – but unfortunately too true.

    DC area?? For some reason I always thought you were a British “chap”.

  6. Indeed, it is good work you are doing because the innocent near-virgin men don’t have much experience with women, so many won’t realize the female virgin lie. More likely men with experience learned these signs. So you gain by having fun with and prevent her preying deceptively on men stuck in assuming traditional gender roles.

  7. [...] I predicted that Molly, the “born again virgin” that I picked up at a Sunday Morning Nig…  That happened this weekend.  Molly tried to give me a bunch of convoluted “logic” about how even though we have only known each other for a short time she feels that we will get married so why wait for sex?  I knew exactly what was going on.  As we all know Molly really isn’t a virgin in any manner whatsoever, “born again” or otherwise.  Because she’s pretending to be a “born again virgin” to lock in a chump from a church, she has to play this game of convoluted reasoning. [...]

  8. Exactly. I do the same approach. These churchy women profess how their reborn and virgin like. I go out with a few of them from different churches. I never talk about sex. Before I know it, their asking me to come over for dinner, hot tub or stress-relief(missionary). My rule of thumb: avoid slamming the front door before they wake up.

  9. [...] With that in mind, let’s see what exactly is happening in church today (excerpt from “The (Not) Virgin From The Sunday Morning Nightclub“): Many of you have been waiting to hear about my Sunday Morning Nightclub (aka church) [...]

  10. […] Young men, know that you have to select women of faith and of honour. You have to be faithful to them and you need to know that they will keep their word and remain within the covenant with you. A living faith is required: that is clear scripture. It is also a good filter: but avoid those who play Sunday morning nightclub. […]

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