your position is crystal clear and a repetition of what you’ve already said. Your greatest fear about the potential future fallout from the current mess is that women’s autonomy may get terminally eroded and some men may become such hardliners that they’d start killing feminists (which is the sort of utterly baseless, sensationalist “argument” one would expect to see on Jezebel.com). Your concern is thus mainly about the possible disadvantages women would suffer and not, say, the masses of men who would die horrific deaths in the same scenario.
I’ve seen examples of this self-serving female attitude before. Susan Walsh once said that the main reason why he wants men’s overall social condition to improve is because her female readers are interested in high-quality “eligible” mates. Kay Hymowitz also argued that men should “man up” and improve themselves because…the women want high-value mates.
All in all, I have never seen a single woman argue that she wants to see men’s grievances and problems addressed because she cares about them as her fellow human beings who deserve dignity and respect. What women say instead is that men should improve themselves in order to…provide women with the mates they want. In other words, women don’t believe that men’s prosperity is a worthy goal in itself. Women think it’s self-evident that men just OWE them various things.
I find it funny – easy to explain and not terribly surprising, but nevertheless funny – that virtually all women and the majority of men go through life under the assumption that women have enormous social value just by virtue of being women; that they are the ultimate prize in men’s lives; that their uteruses are worth their weight in gold.
We can observe this gynocentric attitude in society’s general treatment of male-female relationships. By and large, society considers it self-evident that a young woman should be picky when choosing a mate because she’s the prize and she deserves the best she can get by virtue of having an uterus, whereas a young man should pretty much have no standards and should just believe that any woman who agrees to put up with him is somehow God’s gift to him.
For the sake of argument, I’ll try to illustrate the absurdity of this attitude by offering a hypothetical scenario. Let’s suppose one of the well-known male journalists wrote something like this:
“I think women’s overall social condition is worrying. They need our help and advice. I believe we should encourage young women to stay thin, develop a positive, cheerful nature and learn how to be good lovers, because these are the sort of mates the average young man is interested in.”
All feminists and virtually all women would go apeshit and this man would lose his job the next day. Reverse the roles, and it’s just business as usual in the current media.
I think Butterfly Flower’s comments illustrate something profound with regard to female attitudes towards the MRM.
We all know traditionalist women routinely complain about the supposed fatalism of the MRM. If you ask them about this, they will of course tell you that what they object to is nihilist MRAs “whining”, “sitting around complaining” and rejecting traditionalist roles instead of manning up and doing something against the feminist system and proposing societal solutions. If you ask me, I think what really bothers them about the MRM is something completely different: the message of male self-preservation.
This is something incomprehensible to traditionalist women because they have always operated under the assumption that men are uncomplaining, expendable provider and protector mules who will accept any sacrifice society and women demand of them. But now we have a growing number of young men seeing both the patriarchy and feminism for the shams they are, refusing existing gender roles, going their own way and practicing self-preservation, becoming asshole cads etc. MRA authors encourage them not to take unnecessary risks, not to become victims, to consider marriage only optional, to carefully weigh their options and care about their own well-being. This phenomenon is almost unprecedented in human history and to the average traditionalist mind it falls in the “does not compute” category.
It is especially unnerving for traditionalist women because what they actually want is a sort of “soft landing” after the excesses of the past 40-50 years, a scenario where women only have to suffer minimal damage as men decide to adopt traditionalism, “grow a pair”, defeat the feminist monster and accept patriarchal roles again. What they actually want men to do is to band together under the rightist flag, mount a heroic frontal assault against the feminist pillboxes, suffer enormous losses – all right-wing ideologies just love the idea of martyrdom, after all – but eventually reach victory, reestablish the patriarchy, wipe the leftist blood from their bayonets and then graciously offer women the role of SAHM so that these precious creatures can once again grace with their presence the lives of the manly men who deserve it. In their minds, men only exist as providers (read: mules), white knights and heroic martyrs who sacrifice themselves for their morally pure, angelic women.
But men are wising up and telling them to suck it – in growing numbers. Traditionalist women are resorting to their old tricks, saying “the ultimate goal of the patriarchy is to benefit men”, but more and more men are realizing it’s bullshit. Some of these women started opportunistically sniffing around the MRM, hoping to find patriarchal knights in shining armor just dying to rescue the damsels in distress and slay the feminist dragon in mortal fight, but the MRM rejects them. These women actually believe that even after the decades of fire, destruction and suffering unleashed by the feminist culture war, if they simply say “I want to be a rightist SAHM”, men will grow a pair and sign up for marriage 1.0 like the mules they are, as if nothing happened in the past 40 years. What they don’t realize is that the blinders are off, women have revealed themselves for what they truly are and the trust between the genders is terminally broken. Even legal reform couldn’t resuscitate the marriage rate. Even if a law is passed to benefit husbands, it can easily be repealed 5-10 years later and more and more men know this. Western civilization is dying, but men won’t save it for women. More and more of them will simply keep out of the blast wave and preserve themselves, only for themselves and nobody else.