Nov 152010

I’m about to run into the same problem with Sabrina that I had last year with Kristen and Rachel.  What to do about the holidays?

While I think I can successfully fight the urge to buy Sabrina expensive jewelry (I don’t want to end up like Jose on the Jersey Shore), the holidays are massive minefield.  And they don’t really end until after Valentine’s Day when it comes to women.  I’m at the point I was last year.  Do I dump Sabrina or not?  I don’t want to give up the sex or the food and wait a few months until Valentine’s Day is over to find another woman.  On the other hand Sabrina is wondering why she hasn’t met my parents yet especially since I met hers.  So far I have been able to fend that off but I doubt I will be able to much longer.  Plus she thinks this relationship is going somewhere other than to my bedroom for more sex.

I still want to bang Sabrina’s best friend so there’s the question of how that would fit into all of this as well.  I have thought about a threesome with Sabrina and her best friend but such a thing would not happen in reality.  I have thought about telling Sabrina I want a threesome with her and her best friend as a way of dumping her (or rather her dumping me) since I can’t see Sabrina going for a threesome.  I’m not sure a simple dumping will work with Sabrina now.  I have the feeling I will be dealing with weeks of her begging me to take her back which is why I’m thinking about other ideas on how to deal with this.

I would also like some ideas from everyone reading this on how you think I should handle this.  This is going to be a recurring problem since I won’t be getting married and the holidays come every year, and I need a strategy for it.

  38 Responses to “The Holiday Problem”

  1. “This is going to be a recurring problem since I won’t be getting married and the holidays come every year, and I need a strategy for it.”

    The answer is easy.. Stop keeping the girl’s hopes of marriage alive. Send her packing (no matter the fallout) and find a like minded woman .. Sheesh!!

  2. No.

    Stop caring. All this worry indicates you care about the outcome.

    There’s no point to it.

  3. Whatever you do you really should treat Sabrina better. She’s supposed to be your girlfriend not your concubine. Treat her like a person not a masturbation aid.

    • Don’t listen to women when you want advice on women, PMAFT.

      My advice as an MRA and as your online buddy? String her along with the implicit promise of marriage. The moment you treat her better, you will lose her respect. She’s supposed to be your concubine, not your girlfriend – miss no opportunity to put her down. Treat her like a masturbation aid, not a person.

      • Snark, you had me ROTFLMAO with this comment.

        Seriously, I’m well aware of how getting advice from women about women is a bad idea. In addition I have noticed that it all comes down to one idea, namely I’m a “bad” man. Of course there’s the problem (for them) of what I’m doing works obviously.

        • First-time commenter (though I’ve lurked here and other blogs before), so do forgive me for wandering in, but I just have to ask, and genuinely no trolling, but why not just be honest with her and tell her “I’m never gonna get married and I don’t really want anything from you other than sex.” I’m no relationship expert, but worst-case scenario she gets mad and breaks up with you and doesn’t keep calling you back because she knows you don’t want a “real relationship,” best-case scenario (unliklier, but still possible) she says “hey, that’s cool” and keeps fucking you, with both of you now understanding that there’s nothing more than sex. Honesty may not always be the best policy, but in this case I don’t see how it could hurt.

          Again, genuinely not trollin or anything here, just curious.

        • The usual age range of my women (late 20s) creates a hazard of marriage rabies even in women who claim they don’t want to get married.

  4. I agree with Kathy. Treat the girl decently. Don’t deceive her. I believe in being harsh and blunt with women when appropriate, but don’t deceive. That is feminine.

    • Sabrina is really deceiving herself. I haven’t promised her marriage. She hasn’t asked me about. I can tell she’s made assumptions about it instead.

      • You are allowing her to deceive herself. You should disabuse her of the idea of marriage. If you tell her, “I enjoy having a woman about, and you will do for the moment, but I shall never marry”, then you have been a man, and she can have no complaint.

        I am assuming that you have no moral objections to fornication, of course. I had thought you were religious, but I may have got that wrong.

        • @David Collard

          You’re a serious white knight. PMAFT knows how to handle a woman. You should listen to him.


          Go for the threesome just to piss off white knights like David Collard. I think you have a better than 50% chance of getting it.

  5. As I said to my wife recently, I believe in treating women harshly, but not cruelly. Don’t prevaricate like a woman. Tell her the truth.

  6. You are such a douchebag. Sabrina deserves better than you. She deserves a man who will spend Christmas with her and won’t use her for his obscene sexual appetite. Last year I dated a guy just like you and he was such an asshole. At the time he tricked me more or less since I couldn’t get enough of him. Now I realize how guys like him and you are scum.

    • Anna, are you real? You simply confirm all the stereotypes. You had sex with a man you “couldn’t get enough of”, who was an “asshole”. You are Exhibit A on why men rightly think women are stupid when it comes to men.

      I would bet that you will do exactly the same thing again, with another “asshole”.

      • “I would bet that you will do exactly the same thing again, with another “asshole”.

        Ha ha ha!!.. You nailed her in one David. :)

  7. I didn’t know he was an asshole at the time. In fact I was fooled until he dumped me right before Christmas last year. He seemed like a good marriage minded guy. But no he turned out to be an asshole just like the author of this blog. I think now that he may have been cheating on me with another woman.

    Why are you all blaming me for this? I did nothing wrong. I’m the victim. When are guys like my ex and the author of this blog going to be stopped from using women?

    • Anna, Sweetie. Are you serious? You sound like a parody. Darling, men will use naive women if they can. Stop giving it up for guys simply because you find them hot. That is the way to stop being used. If you want to get married, keep your goodies in the box until you are actually married. You will attract a better class of man.

      Kathy, is that you? The fellow Australian? Hi.

  8. I wasn’t going after some superhot guy with a thousand notches on his bedpost. I thought I was with a decent looking nice man. The reason why I got used by him was because I was looking for a better man. That didn’t stop him from playing me like a fool. My ex sounds like the author of this blog so much its scary. So why are you going after me David when men are finding new ways to trick us women?

    • Women of your age have more to lose, Anna, and it is more important that you learn and take care. Young men will have sex with just about anything. It means nothing to most men. I could have sex with about half the women I see, and I am an older man. It would mean nothing.

      Many masculine men have almost no empathy for women unless they are related to them, or friends, or are going to be related to them (fiancees). I am like that myself, so I know. I suppose I feel sorry for you because you sound so naive it brings out the paternal in me.

      I always looked very nice, but most men can be cold bastards, even nice seeming ones.

      If a man really cares about you, he will wait, at least for a while. I did all kinds of things with my girlfriend, but she knew me well enough to know that we would get married. Which we did. And we are still married. She was smart enough to keep most of it fresh for her eventual husband.

  9. “That is the way to stop being used. If you want to get married, keep your goodies in the box until you are actually married. You will attract a better class of man.”

    David’s right, Anna. Why buy a book when you can join the library, eh?

    Women are the gatekeepers of sex. If they can’t keep their pants on then men will just use them up, then cast them aside.What do you expect? Is it really that hard to just say NO?

    Don’t blame the blokes. Your destiny is in your own hands.

  10. “Kathy, is that you? The fellow Australian? Hi.”

    Right back atcha David me old mate :)

  11. […] Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech, one of The Spearhead authors, is having this problem right now.  With Christmas coming up he’s trying to find a way to navigate the maze coming up to keep his girlfriend.  The problem is that there is no solution.  Anything he does will be wrong in some way.  The only thing he can do is find a new woman.  That’s not a big deal for him.  He’s not married and knows better than to get married so all things being equal he will be fine.  Married men don’t have his luxury.  Their wives have got them by the balls because their wives can divorce them whenever they feel like for whatever reason they feel like and profit signifigantly from it.  Married men who believe in game are simply delusional.  They refuse to admit to themselves they have come up against the problem of women wanting fried ice and believe that they are successful navigating women because their wives have not divorced them yet.  Regardless of their delusion one way or another the divorce slaughterhouse awaits most of them particularly the younger they go.  No matter what they do they can’t produce fried ice. […]

  12. Kathy and David, I don’t understand why you’re saying what you’re saying. I am not a bed hopping slut. I try my best to go after good men not the popular jerks. I thought I met this great guy at a Halloween party last year. Everything seemed to be going right until he dumped me right before Christmas. It took me a while to figure out how he was manipulating me at a high level. My ex is incredibly similar to the author of this blog. Usually I am able to discern when a man is going to do nothing but use me but this guy was so good at manipulation I had no idea.

    • Anna, men aren’t as dumb as the culture tells you. Men can “think cold” in a way that women usually don’t. Your mistake was to give him what he wanted, when he wanted it. If you had kept your panties on, two possible things would have happened. One, he would have hung around, maybe eventually offering you something permanent, if he really liked you. Or two, he would have left – but at least he wouldn’t have left you feeling used.


  13. David, you don’t get it. Even if I didn’t have sex with my ex, he still would have done the same thing. He still was manipulating me for things like companionship and cooking. Am I supposed to do absolutely nothing for a boyfriend?

    The real problem was that my ex defrauded me by implying that he was looking for marriage. If a man so easily can lie to make himself look like a good man then why can’t you David realize the problem is how men like the author of this blog is defrauding women?

  14. If I do anything for a boyfriend even if I don’t have sex with him, he could still use me as a concubine (as in a cooking concubine or a companionship concubine).

    Look at how the author of this blog brags about what his girlfriend does from him and he’s bragging about lot more than just sex. What does he do for her? Nothing. He is just defrauding her by stringing her along implying he’s interested in marriage. Even if they weren’t having sex, he still would be doing the same thing.

    • A man shouldn’t fool a woman that he has marriage in mind if he has no real interest in her. That is dishonest and wrong. I said that above. But Anna you have to be look after yourself too. If a man doesn’t have any real feeling for you, he may well see you as nothing more than a convenience. As I said, men can think cold (yes, so can some women, but it is more a male trait). He may have thought that his temporary company was enough reward for you. And, not to be unkind, but you ladies wanted this new social world. Freedom brings risk.

    • *WTF* Anna,

      Are you telling us that for the whole time that you went with the guy, absolutely none of YOUR needs were met? He was ALWAYS happy, you were ALWAYS miserable. If so, why did you go out with him at all or stay with him for more than a day?

      No, all this “being used” bullshit is getting old.

      And what are you David? A codger? You sound just like my dad and all the rest of the old men.
      Stop supporting the temporary cognitive dissonance that creates the attitude that she was being used! (not the least because that’s the root of the female supremacy movement)

      It’s likely that it was all mostly fine until they broke up, and then everything good that happened in their relationship magically turned to sh*t in her mind.

      10 years from now, she’s probably see it all for what it REALLY is.

    • Whoa, just checked the dates, a *little* late to the party.

      Doesn’t matter, she’s almost as likely to have been using him as he was her. That’s how relationships frequently work.

  15. The holidays are bullshit. They’ve always been bullshit. They will continue to be bullshit.

    What is the value of a holiday when it amounts to nothing but obligation to everyone else’s ideas and desires except your own?

    “Oh, we just HAVE to go to my parents because my great-aunt Tessie who talks to walls and dresses her cats up hasn’t met you yet!”

    “Um…no, I don’t want to do that.”

    “Well that’s tough shit, buster. You come to meet my smelly, crazy old aunt or you’re going to face a long cold winter on the couch.”

    Or how about shopping like a crazy-assed fool from the day after Thanksgiving right up to December 24 because you are obliged to do so “In the spirit of giving”? That’s crap. The spirit of the day is nothing more than rampant guilt.

    PMAFT, The holidays are only a minefield when you are the one planting the mines and forgetting where you put them. If you feel some sort of connection to the spirit of the day, then fine…make it about you and your God. The day is yours as well; use the time the way you want, and to Hell with her desires. If she wants to do something else, then let her bloody well go and do it.

    You are not responsible for what she formulated in her head with regards to “Expectations”. If you have not said anything about marriage or long-term commitment and she is coming to that conclusion on her own, then she truly owns those emotions. It does sound though, like a discussion is in order. Not for her sake, but for your own. The potential loss of the sex, the food, and the laughs are a price to pay for just sticking to your principles. If she cannot handle who you are, then she doesn’t deserve you.

  16. If I do anything for a boyfriend even if I don’t have sex with him, he could still use me as a concubine (as in a cooking concubine or a companionship concubine).

    A companionship concubine? You must be joking. Men don’t require the level of social validation a woman does. The LJBF phenomenon is women using men as an emotional tampon, not the other way around.

    If you don’t want to do anything to please men, that’s your affair. Just don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

    Look at how the author of this blog brags about what his girlfriend does from him and he’s bragging about lot more than just sex.

    He’s learned that doing more usually gets him less. Blame that on the peculiar psychology of women, not him.

  17. The answer is so simple – dick in a box.

    More seriously, go for something you can both enjoy. A night out of town (with sex) or something similar.

  18. […] Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech – “The Holiday Problem” […]

  19. PMAFT, if you haven’t dropped the writ yet, I don’t think that the threesome request will have the desired effect.

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