At Hidden Leaves, I found this story about a mom who is way too involved (because she is involved at all) in trying to find her son a woman. If this works for the son it will only be because he was on TV. Comments like does this guy own his balls or his mom have already been made so I don’t feel the need to revisit them. What got me about this story was how it made me think of what would happen if my mom tried to get involved in finding me a woman. It scares me to think what my mom would find for me if she found anyone at all. If I was lucky these women would be half right for me but the half wrong part would be a disaster. More importantly my mom doesn’t understand what has happened between men and women in the last several decades despite being a part of the problem in some ways. (She lived through the 60s.)
I’m glad I live hundreds of miles away from my mom. She might be inclined to try something like the woman in the link although I suspect she would just bother me more about finding a girlfriend. My mom (and my dad) don’t even know about Sabrina. They didn’t know about Kristen or Rachel either. I don’t tell my parents about Sabrina because that will give them false hope that I will become a “normal person”, get married, and give them grandkids. None of that is going to happen with marriage 2.0 being in place. My parents don’t talk about this subject that often but next time they do I think I will shock them by telling them about the Rotunda Clinic in India that will take a man’s sperm with a surrogate mother in India and produce a kid. I doubt it’s what my parents had in mind for grandkids. (I don’t mean the racial aspect. That doesn’t matter to them.)
Well if you needed to have a child that looked like you and had the funds, you could always buy the egg(s) and go that route.
Tragically, my mom was the source of a great deal of shitty, beta-attitude-creating advice about women. She did try to set me up with a couple of women – daughters of colleagues – and then she was mystified when the girls in question preferred, for example, a drummer in a local rock band to me. Oh well!
Oh boy, I’ve partially experienced this. A good friend of ours got married and it sent my parents (my father in particular) into a frenzy about us kids getting married. I think he created a profile on craigslist and started asking girls in the w4m part… thank God he didn’t find any takers.
If he did set me up with someone though, like a last-minute surprise blind date, I’d just refuse to go and stand them up. I mean, I wasn’t involved in the decision so I’m deciding I’m not going.
I’m lucky because my mother understands me. A while back in my cousin’s wedding another cousin of mine started bothering me about why I don’t have a girlfriend, why I’m not in a relationship etc. My mother said to her: ‘You don’t need to own a cow if you only need a glass of milk’.
I can only imagine the meddling this woman will be up to if she does find a mate for her son. He ought to move far, far away if he ever hopes to be the true leader in his own family.
My parents don’t talk about this subject that often but next time they do I think I will shock them by telling them about the Rotunda Clinic in India that will take a man’s sperm with a surrogate mother in India and produce a kid.
Add in a “want to chip in for my birthday?” and you might leave them utterly speechless. I’m so bad.
It’s actually fairly rare for my parents to bother me about this, but I’m getting older and I am an only child. That means I’m their only chance for grandkids. If it gets bad enough I will pull this on them.
One sure sign that my life would be Hell with a particular woman is if my mom had nothing bad to say about her at all.
The very last thing I would ever want is to be fixed up by my mother.. She has tried in the past, particularly with this MD who literally left her fiance at the altar and humiliated him in front of everyone assembled at the church. Yeah…sign me up for that.
“My parents don’t talk about this subject that often but next time they do I think I will shock them by telling them about the Rotunda Clinic in India that will take a man’s sperm with a surrogate mother in India and produce a kid. I doubt it’s what my parents had in mind for grandkids. ”
If they don’t talk about it that often then why bother? It’s not like they are on your case at all.
Besides, try and see it a little from their point of view. You are their only son. Parents always worry about their kids even when they are adults. Your Mom and Dad obviously love you and …like most happily married parents with children would like the same for you. Nothing wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with YOU not wanting that either..
Older people in general are worthless when it comes to dealing with women, dating, marriage, etc. They think the advice and norms of pre-1970s America are still valid today, but most of them probably don’t even know what “hookup culture” is.
You don’t want to get married. I understand that but why can’t you tell your parents about Sabrina? I am sure they would love to meet her and know that you have someone special in your life. It’s OK if people think you’re a ‘normal’ person.
It would be pretty cruel to give them false hopes of their son getting married and giving them grandchildren and what not when that is not going to happen. Better to just keep them out of the loop all together.
I think PMAFT is old enough to make his own decisions, but I’m sure he appreciates you playing the Agony Aunt nonetheless, Donna.
Guys, just because PMAFT’s parents meet Sabrina, that does not mean they’re getting married. It sounds like PMAFT has a good relationship with his parents so why does he has to keep his girlfriend hidden from them? What’s wrong with PMAFT’s parents knowing that he isn’t completely alone?
As time goes on Sabrina is going to think its weird that she never meets any of PMAFT’s family too. That would be a red flag for me if my boyfriend was keeping me away from meeting his family.
Hmm. It could be of course that a guy’s family is just plain WEIRD. While I love my family and they’re very stable people, they can get a little embarassing in certain situations. I learned from watching my older brother bring girlfriends home. Or even just telling our parents about his new girlfriend. They always got weird about it. Not hostile, more like they used it as an excuse to make fun of him (I have no idea why, it’s not like it’s strange behaviour to go out with someone).
From this I learned to not share details of my relationships with the family, great as they are. I probably wouldn’t introduce an LTR to the family for quite some time – because I’m embarassed of THEM, not of HER.
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