(Disclaimer: I can’t speak to what God’s plan is for your particular life. However, this is true for most men.)
That’s right. God doesn’t want you to get married. You have probably heard a lot of people say such as the Marriage Mandate Movement (such as Debbie Maken and Boundless Brainless) say that God demands you get married. This is false. Anakin on his blog as well as many others have shown why the marriage mandate concept is false. Anakin rightfully points out that God leaves the choice to get married up to us. After all, this isn’t Islam where everything is halal or haram.
When we’re married, God wants us to have a marriage defined by His principles, not necessarily the Church’s principles and definitely not current society’s principles or worse yet feminist principles. What do God’s principles for marriage include? (I’m only going to speak to those principles which are relevant to this blog entry.) Let’s take a much quoted passage of the Bible, Ephesians 5:22-25:
Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her
Notice the command for women to submit to their husbands. This is one of the things that God wants in a marriage, and He has to tell women to do this. While, this passage says that men lead their wives, notice how God doesn’t put in a command to men to lead (instead its a command for men to love their wives). This is very important. Why does God tell give a command to women to submit but not to men to lead? Because, it’s unnecessary and because women must first choose to submit before any male leadership can take place. Men don’t have the option of firing their wives if they don’t submit so men can not be held responsible when women refuse to submit. This is what God says. Notice how its in direct opposition to both feminists AND socons (social conservatives) who claim that men are the source of all problems. Church leaders (and this includes the leaders of most Churches across all Christian denominations because this attitude is so pervasive) who claim that divorce, adultery, and other marital problems are all the fault of men “failing to show enough leadership” are directly contradicting God. Nearly all Church leaders have failed in their responibility to teach Biblical principles because of this.
Let’s take a look at another passage of the Bible, 2 Corinthians 14:
Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
This passage is usually taken to have to do with Christians getting married to non-Christians (or non-Christians with different enough morals). (Debating on how far this passage goes with non-Christians is beyond the scope of this blog entry.) However, this passage also can apply within the Church. Just because someone is sitting in a pew doesn’t mean they are really a believer or that you can’t be unequally yoked with them. Since all but a handful of Christian women don’t believe in submitting to their husbands or future husbands, a marriage to most any Christian woman means that a Christian man will be unequally yoked to her.
This is why God doesn’t want Christian men to get married. There simply aren’t enough women out there who will be part of a marriage based on Biblical principles. You could end up being one of the lucky ones who does meet a woman who is willing to be part of a marriage based on Biblical principles. (That’s why I added my disclaimer at the beginning.) However, this is highly unlikely so you are most likely in the horde of men who God doesn’t want getting married.